Three years ago, Sports Producer Ben’s girlfriend, Fran [link to blog], was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. In September Master’s student Fran was given the news she was in remission following a stem cell transplant from a donor. This news followed three years of treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma
I’d never heard of Lymphoma
Before Fran was diagnosed, I had never heard of lymphoma. I’m a big football fan so I’d heard of leukaemia because a few footballers had been diagnosed with it and had told their story.
If Fran had told me that she had been diagnosed with lymphoma without telling me that it was a blood cancer, I would have probably thought it was great news. But it wasn’t great news, it was horrible. Gutting to be honest.
On supporting Fran during treatment
We’d been together for about four years when Fran got the news. The fact we had an established relationship took some of the stress away. I think if it had been a newer relationship, it would have been really hard to navigate.
I don't like thinking about it, but hearing about Fran’s diagnosis was really tough. Fran’s friends and family have said ‘thanks for being there and looking after Fran’ but it was a complete no brainer.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but it happened to us. We've now formed a bond that is just unbreakable.
We've been through a lot of lows over the past three to four years; a lot of highs as well. We've tried to keep some normality, so we'd try and go on a few date nights when we were able to and take some trips away. When Fran was told the cancer had returned, we booked a trip to Malaga straight away. We knew what was coming with treatment wasn't going to be nice and wanted to do something nice to clear our minds and be together. It was nice to have that time to be away enjoying some food, beer and wine.
It's a bit different for me because I'm just at the other end of the phone tapping away, waiting for a call. And sometimes it's been very bad and sometimes it's been good. Fran will be there waiting for results and I'm in my head. I’m thinking ‘right, Fran’s not rang in 20 minutes so does that mean they're chatting because it's good news? Or does that mean it’s bad and they are talking
about the other options that she has to go through.
I'll remember this the news of Fran’s remission for the rest of my life. I was sat on the floor in my room, trying to do some yoga work, trying to take my mind off it. I heard the buzzing and the most typical hilarious thing happened. Fran said, ‘I'm in remission, but I can't talk’ and then the phone just went dead.
I sat there thinking: ‘well, she did say she's remission’ but I questioned whether I’d heard wrong and Fran had told me she wasn’t in remission. She rang me back and we spoke; she’d bumped into a nurse she knew at the hospital and was having a chat. I was relived – it was lovely! We hadn’t heard the word remission for three and a half years. So, to hear it before transplant, and then again after Fran’s transplant was amazing.
On what Christmas brings…
Now that Fran is in remission it’s more living; making sure that Fran lives a life.
We went away to the Lake District for New Year's last year, but in the back of both of our heads we knew the results were coming in the first few days of January.
We have a lovely wedding and New Year's to look forward to. One year on we can celebrate properly. It’ll be the first time in quite a while.
On signing up to the stem cell register…
The thing I’ve learned through this is that it’s easy to sign up. A lot of people I've spoken to have heard some of the myths; I tell them that if they have given blood before, it's really similar to that for most people.
A lot of my friends have asked for the specifics, like typical lads, ‘How exactly do you do this Ben? What do you do?’ I’ve found that you need to go into a bit more detail to my mates than Fran’s mates, but lots have signed straight up.
In the end all I've had to say is ‘This is what has saved Fran’s life’ and they’ve asked for the link to sign up. Being able to say you can literally help save someone's life and let them have another chance is really powerful.